The sound of the rain pounding against the window filled the room as I sat alone in my dimly lit apartment. I just stared blankly out into the dark night, feeling the weight of all the hate that I carry inside of me. It had been building up for years, fueling my every action and thought.
I have always felt like an outsider, never quite fitting in wherever I went. I have tried to bury the pain, to push it deep down inside where no one can see it, but it has only grown stronger over time.
As I sit here, the hate inside of me begins to take on a life of its own. It whispers dark thoughts into my ear, urging me to lash out at those who have wronged me. I have tried to fight against it, to push back the darkness threatening to consume me, but it was like battling a storm with no end in sight.
In a fit of desperation, I grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper, and began to write. The words poured out of me like a torrent, each line filled with bitterness and rage. I wrote about the pain I have endured, the loneliness I have felt, and the hatred that had taken root in my heart.
As I wrote, I began to feel a sense of release wash over me. The act of putting my thoughts onto paper was cathartic, a way of exorcising the demons that had haunted me for so long. But as the last words left my pen, a sense of unease settled over me. The hate inside of me had not disappeared, it had only been unleashed in a new form.
So I stood up, the paper in my hand trembling with the force of my emotions. I looked around my apartment, seeing everything through a new lens. The walls seemed to close in on me, the shadows dancing in the corners mocking my pain.
In a sudden burst of energy, I knew I had to leave, the paper with my words scrunched up and stuffed into my pocket. I knew I had to get away from the suffocating weight of my hate before it consumed me completely.
As I walked out into the rainy night, I felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. The city streets were empty, the only sound was the distant rumble of thunder. I had no destination in mind, only a desperate need to escape the darkness that threatened to swallow me whole.
Hours passed as I wandered through the city, the rain soaking me to the bone. I found myself in a deserted park, the swings creaking in the wind and the trees rustling in the wind. I sat down on a bench, the paper still clutched in my hand, and closed my eyes.
In the darkness behind my eyelids, I saw flashes of memory. The scars of my past were laid bare before me, the pain of each betrayal and rejection cutting like a knife. But as I opened my eyes, a new sense of determination washed over me.
With a sense of purpose, I stood up and began to walk. I walked through the park, through the empty streets, through the city that had been both my prison and my refuge. The hate inside of me burned like a fire, but this time I would not let it control me.
As dawn broke over the horizon, I found myself standing on a bridge overlooking the river. The water below churned and roiled, the rain still falling in a steady downpour. I took a deep breath, the paper fluttering in my hand, and let it go.
As the words were taken by the wind, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The hate inside of me was still there, still a part of me, but I knew now that I could control it. I had faced the darkness within myself and emerged on the other side, stronger and more determined than ever.
And as I turned and walked away from the bridge, the first rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds, I knew that I would never be the same. The hate inside of me would always be there, a constant companion in a world filled with pain and cruelty. But now I could face it head on, armed with the knowledge that I was stronger than the darkness that threatened to consume me. And with that thought, I walked into the new day, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
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Paul Cox Writer 